cNutgroist

My landlord last month, as people are milling round my apartment with a view to renting, asks me one of his classic out-of-the-fucking-blue questions that I love. He's taken a shine to me, and I to him, despite the fact that i almost burnt to death in his property because he doesn't know how to put a handle on a door. So, apropos of zero, he comes out with...

"Hey, you like Chinese Girl?" (and actually, I rarely do. Not my usual type)

-Er... I... like...all...kinds of girls, Ricky (his Anglicised name, obviously)

"I have neice in Shanghai, you wanna meet her? She really nice girl. Young, pretty, good looking, very nice girl"

-Oh! Im...really... flattered, Ricky. Thanks. But...uh...I have a girlfriend.

"OH NO!!! YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?!?!"

-Yes, i'm afraid I do.

"you SURE you have girlfriend?"

-yes, im pretty sure, Ricky

"but my neice, she such a nice girl and you such a nice guy, best tenant ever, i think you hit off big time"

-Ricky, thanks so much for thinking of me (and i am really touched by this, even though it's probably shady as fuck) but I really do have a girlfriend



And he literally clutches his head with his hands and says, again, "OH NO! Are you SURE?"
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