Tuesday, December 13, 2005

[friarcouscous] ahoy
[billofrights] hey yessy yes
(0:39) [friarcouscous] gladly
(0:39) [friarcouscous] heard the track yet?
[billofrights] you're comely, well
[billofrights] nay nay and once more unto the nay
(0:40) [friarcouscous] have a listen - it's a bit dreamy
[billofrights] i can listen but only very softly
[billofrights] shall i?
(0:40) [friarcouscous] yayly
(0:40) [friarcouscous] it's not a heavy track
[billofrights] then it shall be initiated hencenow
(0:41) [friarcouscous] goodest
[billofrights] top bitch music, mo' nami
(0:44) [friarcouscous] gadthanks - i'm enjoying making it better than sex
[billofrights] you make sex?
(0:45) [friarcouscous] yes, then i destroy it
[billofrights] nothings better than sex - not even sex
(0:45) [friarcouscous] sexy is better than sex
[billofrights] sexx is better than sex
[billofrights] by one x
(0:45) [friarcouscous] suxx is better than sex
(0:46) [friarcouscous] and so is fuxx
[billofrights] however, in my personal opinion, sexxx is just going too far
(0:46) [friarcouscous] oh i dunno - i go all the way - yar yar yar yar yar
[billofrights] there should be a tax on x's
(0:46) [friarcouscous] taxi for x
[billofrights] yes, i've been to sex hell and back
(0:47) [friarcouscous] i've been to essex and back
(0:47) [friarcouscous] david essex
[billofrights] it must have been done - enter a cunt and find it hellish but by the end return to a good state of affairs
(0:48) [friarcouscous] i've never entered a cunt
(0:48) [friarcouscous] ...but my fucking cock has
[billofrights] a hellish hole of steaming fishy sulphur, mollified by the gentle rocking of a violent cock intrusion and man paste application
(0:48) [friarcouscous] a deep snore gorge whose vacuum abhors no cock
[billofrights] vagyna
(0:49) [friarcouscous] Hello, I am a Professor of Vagynaecology.
[billofrights] :)
[billofrights] im a proctologist - an Anal Proctologist as it happens
(0:50) [friarcouscous] Hello, I'm an illegal vag-doctor.
[billofrights] i'm a cunt vet
(0:50) [friarcouscous] !!!!!!!!!
[billofrights] !
(0:50) [friarcouscous] I'm an arse-doctor
[billofrights] that may well be the single most offensive thing ive said this year
(0:51) [friarcouscous] but not an arse-doctorer
(0:51) [friarcouscous] i vet cunt
[billofrights] yes, for the censors
(0:51) [friarcouscous] you mean, people who vet cunt?
[billofrights] not the people who decide on cinematic propriety, no - just the statisticians who want to know how much cunticle lippage there is currently sliming its way around the british isles
(0:52) [friarcouscous] people who BET cunt!
[billofrights] how much? i'll put a cunt on that, mate
(0:52) [friarcouscous] what do you do? well, i bet on cunt.
(0:53) [friarcouscous] ha ha ha!!!!
(0:53) [friarcouscous] ten cunts to one
[billofrights] im good for it, dave, im good for it
(0:53) [friarcouscous] now wouldn't that be nice?
[billofrights] sure would - i'd be down the ladbrokes most days wouldnt i yes i would
[billofrights] putting the missus' bits in hock again
(0:54) [friarcouscous] let's do rhyming slang - Bodie and Doyle = Sir Albert Guilyfoyle
[billofrights] look at that mate - nearly new cunt, only been fucked once, repeatedly, for about a decade
[billofrights] ummm, ok
[billofrights] daziel and pascoe - i like tabasco
(0:55) [friarcouscous] Bonnie and Clyde - Quickly...hide!
(0:55) [friarcouscous] Tom and Jerry - Local Dairy
[billofrights] Cannon and Ball - not funny at all
(0:56) [friarcouscous] Tommy Cooper - Stage-death blooper
[billofrights] Little and Large - wish they'd died on an accident involving a collision with a barge
[billofrights] oh lovely!
[billofrights] Jim Davidson - racist CUNT
(0:57) [friarcouscous] Ronnie O'Sullivan - Jason Donovan
[billofrights] Stephen Hendry - surprisingly bendy
[billofrights] Steve Davis - always rents from Avis
(0:57) [friarcouscous] Sarah Brightman - Huge massive fright, man.
(0:58) [friarcouscous] Bobby Crush - Vaginal Gush
[billofrights] Anthony Newley - lives down in Beaulieu
[billofrights] Vladimir Putin - rootin' tootin'
(0:59) [friarcouscous] Newborn Foal - GOAL!!!
[billofrights] haha!
[billofrights] Hold me closer Tiny Dancer - I'm afraid you've got secondary stage cancer
(1:00) [friarcouscous] ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
(1:01) [friarcouscous] Trevor Brooking - Me Old Mum's Cooking
[billofrights] Ray Wilkins - Prostate Milkings
[billofrights] Des Lynam - Wine'em and Dine'em
(1:02) [friarcouscous] Beautiful Shape - Multiple rape.
[billofrights] Jon Motson - Jetsam and Flotsam
(1:03) [friarcouscous] Richy Sambora - Your Dad's Torah
[billofrights] oh nice
[billofrights] Steve Vai - fucking WHY?
(1:04) [friarcouscous] Stephen Fry - Goodbye.
[billofrights] Bob Marley - A mob in Bali
[billofrights] Griff Rhys Jones - Jif Grease Runes
(1:05) [friarcouscous] Kenny Everett - Dead leverret
(1:05) [friarcouscous] David Bowie - International Travel
[billofrights] Bryan Ferry - Cross the Mersey
[billofrights] Gary Numan - trying not to be human
(1:06) [friarcouscous] sheezy - i gotta go to bed now - it's the one of ones on the clock's face
[billofrights] that's terribilicious
[billofrights] that's rubbishit
(1:06) [friarcouscous] gotta be saying goodbye fur now
[billofrights] mind how you dont go
[billofrights] successful nocturnal consciousness to you
(1:07) [friarcouscous] many thanks please and cheers - g'night
[billofrights] damn you
[billofrights] backwards


Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Well done to Men's Health magazine for the most inappropriate cover feature of the year (hint: it's in the red circle)


Thursday, December 01, 2005

when mixed metaphors go right, all in the last line:

A parish priest has been beaten with a metal baseball bat in what police say was an unprovoked homophobic attack.

The Rt Rev Dr Barry Rathbone, 37, was sitting in Bournemouth Central Gardens eating a burger after a night out, when he was approached by a man and a woman.

The man began shouting homphobic abuse and hit Dr Rathbone, who is openly gay, leaving him with injuries including two broken ribs and several broken fingers.

He said his dog collar was hidden under a scarf at the time of the attack.

I admit I am an openly gay priest but [my sexuality] doesn't define me
Rt Rev Dr Barry Rathbone

Police said the assault was "totally unprovoked".

Dr Rathbone, of Winton, is parish priest for the Beacon Project at Boscombe's East Cemetery Chapel.

He told the BBC News website he had spent the evening at the Exchange gay bar when he was attacked on his way home.

The assailant also shouted expletives relating to Dr Rathbone's sexual orientation, he said.

"I admit I am an openly-gay priest but [my sexuality] doesn't define me," Dr Rathbone said.

"Being gay is just part of my personality. I don't look gay, if there is such a thing. I was just sat on a stone wall eating a burger."


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