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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

People are coming to see my apartment at the moment. It's a sure sign I must be moving out.

I don't mind too much having so many people come through and judge my standards of living, it's just that i'm trying to live and work here at the same time. A case in point, a good friend showed me his fantastic tuna mayo sandwich the other day and i've been eating it ever since. Two days ago, i'd hungrily put together this fishy beauty and was halfway through wolfing it down when my bell goes and i remember that yet another couple has kept an appointment i've failed to remember. Thankfully on this occasion i'm neither asleep, out or in the bath, all of which have happened recently.

So they come through into my flat and they are clearly, immediately, totally Rock. The guy is in his early 40's and super-talkative, with long thin jet-black hair, pendants everywhere, handlebar tache, a billowing white shirt down to his knees and tight black jeans and leather boots. He looks like an Italian Bill Bailey. His girlfriend is tall, short spiky blond hair and stick-thin. She doesn't say much. Despite a very imposing presence. I like them. But they're greasy. It's a Canadian phrase I've picked up which, like, totally exagerrates, y'know, dude?

But they are. They're greasy. Almost groisty

So they wander around, check a few fundamentals and then decide quick perceptively that it's just too small. He turns to see my office and says "Well, I can see you've got a sandwich on the go, so we'll be off". We shake hands and they prepare to leave - a short walk indeed to the door but I've already turned my back on them and walked two paces to my kitchen sink where i proceed to wash my hands before rushing back to my hand-held lunch. And it's THEN I hear the door click, realising that I have just delivered the ultimate insult: Shaking a man's hand and then immediately turning round to wash mine.

My stomach once again intervening between my head and the outside world.

I was going to upload Kathryn Williams doing the Nirvana song 'All Apologies' but then I noticed that the next tune on the album is her cover of the quite frankly much better and maybe more apt Pavement song Spit On A Stranger

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