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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

So I go back, intending to buy his other cd's with some extravagant sum of monies, same time same place where we met yesteday and yes of course he's not there.

Rereading the post below im not surprised by how silly and sentimental it all is. I knew that when I was writing it. And yet, Im leaving it up because it did happen and i was touched, no matter that i don't believe in any such thing as spirit and find most discourse on such matters woolly and completely detached from reason. It meant something at the time and whilst i have had a wealth of spiritually striking encounters with such people throughout my life and just when I needed them, i never had the ability to let them effect me for long. I dont remember most of them and the lessons weren't learned.

In all the yoga i've been doing and all the buddhist literature ive been reading, i have had to wade through a tremendous amount of big smelly bullshit. But in every nugget of dung, there's a wise piece of undigested sweetcorn. For someone who never believed in Karma, I really was taken with the explanation that it's not about rewards or punishment in this or any other life. It's entirely a matter of what's happening now, specifically the things that enter or leave our lives that are lessons which can improve our ability to cope in the future.

What's not to love about that? No need for a bearded old man in the sky, a big-bellied laughing baldie or any kind of controller behind it all. We live, shit happens, you may ignore it or you may decide to derive 'why?', for a reason, and the next time some shit goes down, you are prepared.

In other news, Ive been a semi-vegetarian for god knows how long - a year I guess. I normally eat meat only when on social occasions, preferring to cook at home without it unless im entertaining (why darling, you're always so en-ter-tain-ing, what are you talking about?). Last week I decided to give my body a rest from dairy and eggs for a while, which ive been living on my whole life and love so dearily. But are cow-juice and chicken periods really so good for us? I reckon not.

So im in my local coffeeshop/bakery and standing in line for a non-meat tea when i think 'id like a fucking dessert with that'. The place has a huge range of criminally tasty-looking cakes, cookies, scones, pretzels and pastries but Im looking for one without butter or cream or eggs and since there isnt one that i can find, I ask at the counter. The guy serving goes 'we have these Vegan cookies here' and points to a jar which shows clearly that no animal products of any kind go into them (apple butter anyone?). And then it hits me - hang on a cocking second, I'm a Vegan?!? How the steamed fuck did that happen? What kind of idiot am I? I've become vegan through no religious or ethical principles at all?! (not entirely true, of course - i dont farm intensively) ?! But am I really that stupid not to have noticed?*

*Yes, I am really that stupid not to have noticed.

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