Tuesday, December 12, 2006
My ex-girlfriend called me up yesterday to tell me she got married at the weekend.
*SERIOUS POST ALERT! SERIOUS POST ALERT! MUSIC REWARD AT THE END FOR THE CAREFUL READER*
Not, you understand, that ex-girlfriend (though it'll probably happen some day, it occurred to me later) but my first, serious ex-girlfriend. The one who taught me stuff, shared a year and a half together (pah! a drip in time, a blink of a wink of an eye, now I look back), sold my mum her mum's house and shared some great music together. It was never going to last - we had very different minds and ambitions but we did have fun for a while. And now she's MARRIED?!? That's at least two of the exes hitched now. I can well imagine *all* the others being done by now too, to be honest. Only the Ex was unconventional enough to entertain a whole life without unionising the partnership. But that was then and nothing would surprise me now. Upset? Yes. Surprise. No.
It got me thinking, if that's not already clear above, about my time with the now-married ex. And I remember how we ended it. A cheesy beyond extreme way but kind of fitting. It was during her tenure that I first discovered Jeff Buckley, a man whose music I have had a different kind of love affair with over the last 13 years or so. And I admit to splitting up with her to the strains of Last Goodbye - and I meant it, too. She taught me a lot, I was a total child before she explained to me that the world doesnt revolve around me and occasionally I might have to do stuff for myself and not rely on the run of luck that has meant people will always do things for me. I sometimes still remember that lesson. And the love had died. It was really obvious. I don't think either of us mourned it too much.
And I felt weirdly guilty for the longest time with my Current Ex (is that the way to refer to her?) that I didn't discover Jeff Buckley with her - indeed I remember getting her into him a matter of weeks before he died. And I didn't even take the Now Married ex to see him. A year later I was with someone else (the Interim Ex?) who got to go instead (and there's tv evidence to prove it - Glastonbury 1995, front row, tongue out) and though she loved it, I know that someone else would have loved it more. I just hadn't met her yet.
A friend of a friend here made a film about Jeff, I believe humourously detailing how many of her decisions in life had been based upon his music. I laughed heartily, then haughtily, then hollowly. Didn't I do just the same?
So I did, indeed, find the courage to end that relationship to the soundtrack of one of Jeff's breakup songs. And then I remembered how in the last few months of my last, recent relationship, my Current Ex became obsessed with the song Forget Her, a long dirge about explaining to himself that he has to, oh can you guess? Yes, that's right... forget her. Apparently she was heartache from the start. Pretty subtle stuff. I certainly never got the hint.
My friend died 5 years ago and her son asked me to choose a song for the service that would be appropriate. I'd got her into Jeff and so on the day, after a difficult enough funeral service, her youngest son faced the congregation, while walking up to a cd player and said 'this was one of mum's favourite songs', then pressed play. Hallelujah came on and EVERYONE just lost it. I listen to it very rarely now.
Fair play to the priest, who is also her brother, in the snivveling silence that followed the song quietly remarking 'that's a beautiful song' - all the more so since it's not often you hear 'Maybe there's a God above but all I've ever learned from love is how to shoot somebody who outdrew yer' ringing round a Catholic Church.
I thought I had everything that was out there, both officially released and the numerous bootlegs. I have a few tracks I still haven't played yet, as I do with all my favourite dead artists, since I know that there's only a finite amount of stuff and I want to savour it slowly. I've been listening to his dad, Tim Buckley, for 15 years and I still haven't heard all his albums (and there weren't many). Curiously, I also first heard Jeff in 1991 but that's another story that I suspect only the true Buckley nut would care to hear.
And then, this evening, I happen on this...
a blog posting SEVEN songs that nobody ever heard before! I am in ecstasy at the prospect of 3 new originals, 3 alternate takes plus a proper Led Zeppelin cover! And Im in some large distress at my terrible ISP which won't let me download them at the moment (or upload them to this blog, which is why im linking to these songs and the ones above.). I have already made a pact with myself over the playability of these tracks. Im going to download them, put them in a folder marked 'Deathbed Playlist' and then absolutely ignore it and just play the fuckers. Life's too short, especially when you're on your own.
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*SERIOUS POST ALERT! SERIOUS POST ALERT! MUSIC REWARD AT THE END FOR THE CAREFUL READER*
Not, you understand, that ex-girlfriend (though it'll probably happen some day, it occurred to me later) but my first, serious ex-girlfriend. The one who taught me stuff, shared a year and a half together (pah! a drip in time, a blink of a wink of an eye, now I look back), sold my mum her mum's house and shared some great music together. It was never going to last - we had very different minds and ambitions but we did have fun for a while. And now she's MARRIED?!? That's at least two of the exes hitched now. I can well imagine *all* the others being done by now too, to be honest. Only the Ex was unconventional enough to entertain a whole life without unionising the partnership. But that was then and nothing would surprise me now. Upset? Yes. Surprise. No.
It got me thinking, if that's not already clear above, about my time with the now-married ex. And I remember how we ended it. A cheesy beyond extreme way but kind of fitting. It was during her tenure that I first discovered Jeff Buckley, a man whose music I have had a different kind of love affair with over the last 13 years or so. And I admit to splitting up with her to the strains of Last Goodbye - and I meant it, too. She taught me a lot, I was a total child before she explained to me that the world doesnt revolve around me and occasionally I might have to do stuff for myself and not rely on the run of luck that has meant people will always do things for me. I sometimes still remember that lesson. And the love had died. It was really obvious. I don't think either of us mourned it too much.
And I felt weirdly guilty for the longest time with my Current Ex (is that the way to refer to her?) that I didn't discover Jeff Buckley with her - indeed I remember getting her into him a matter of weeks before he died. And I didn't even take the Now Married ex to see him. A year later I was with someone else (the Interim Ex?) who got to go instead (and there's tv evidence to prove it - Glastonbury 1995, front row, tongue out) and though she loved it, I know that someone else would have loved it more. I just hadn't met her yet.
A friend of a friend here made a film about Jeff, I believe humourously detailing how many of her decisions in life had been based upon his music. I laughed heartily, then haughtily, then hollowly. Didn't I do just the same?
So I did, indeed, find the courage to end that relationship to the soundtrack of one of Jeff's breakup songs. And then I remembered how in the last few months of my last, recent relationship, my Current Ex became obsessed with the song Forget Her, a long dirge about explaining to himself that he has to, oh can you guess? Yes, that's right... forget her. Apparently she was heartache from the start. Pretty subtle stuff. I certainly never got the hint.
My friend died 5 years ago and her son asked me to choose a song for the service that would be appropriate. I'd got her into Jeff and so on the day, after a difficult enough funeral service, her youngest son faced the congregation, while walking up to a cd player and said 'this was one of mum's favourite songs', then pressed play. Hallelujah came on and EVERYONE just lost it. I listen to it very rarely now.
Fair play to the priest, who is also her brother, in the snivveling silence that followed the song quietly remarking 'that's a beautiful song' - all the more so since it's not often you hear 'Maybe there's a God above but all I've ever learned from love is how to shoot somebody who outdrew yer' ringing round a Catholic Church.
I thought I had everything that was out there, both officially released and the numerous bootlegs. I have a few tracks I still haven't played yet, as I do with all my favourite dead artists, since I know that there's only a finite amount of stuff and I want to savour it slowly. I've been listening to his dad, Tim Buckley, for 15 years and I still haven't heard all his albums (and there weren't many). Curiously, I also first heard Jeff in 1991 but that's another story that I suspect only the true Buckley nut would care to hear.
And then, this evening, I happen on this...
a blog posting SEVEN songs that nobody ever heard before! I am in ecstasy at the prospect of 3 new originals, 3 alternate takes plus a proper Led Zeppelin cover! And Im in some large distress at my terrible ISP which won't let me download them at the moment (or upload them to this blog, which is why im linking to these songs and the ones above.). I have already made a pact with myself over the playability of these tracks. Im going to download them, put them in a folder marked 'Deathbed Playlist' and then absolutely ignore it and just play the fuckers. Life's too short, especially when you're on your own.
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