Thursday, November 24, 2005
Xmas gifts i expect i'd like this year:
an MP4 player:
ok, I don't know what it is or if it exists yet, perhaps it takes into account the fourth dimension which would be nice, though quite draining on the batteries i should think. On second thoughts, i think i'd prefer and MP5 player, just to stay one dimensional reality ahead of the game.
Money
100 pounds from everyone i've ever been nice to would be a fitting tribute to me
A 108-yr old man to abuse Gary Glitter:
Let the punishment fit the crime I say.
Everyone in England to live in Mudhuts:
Please Jim'll, will you fix it for me? Why?
... well why not?
Money:
Actually i'm going to need more. About 2000 more. Expect another recalculation before this is over.
The innocent smile on the desperate face of a little Robin Redbreast:
Wouldn't that just melt your heart? i'd gladly exchange a week's worth of wanks or 2 fucks (that's the rough exchange rate on today's market) to see it.
New Kate Bush Album:
No, not Aerial. Got that. It's fuckin' great. Now i'd like another please. And now, not in 12 years.
Money:
I've just checked my calculations. It seems I'll be needing about 8 or 9000 pounds. Do you know my number and sort code? Thanks.
Meat Vodka:
I'm sorry but you can get alcohol made out of anything these days so I'd like mine made out of New Zealand Lamb. Would go well in a cocktail in with Creme de Menthe, but then again, what wouldn't?
Pus Dispenser:
Give your oily skin and yellow-stained thumbs a rest and get your pus the unnatural way with a creamy sebum pump. I think if they're gonna go for a catchy brand-name, how about 'PUZ'? And before you ask, the answer is Eastern Europe. Listen, i've seen Eastern European teenagers do much worse things for money - this could be the moderately demeaning opportunity the ugly ones have been waiting for.
Sweetcorn Tweezers:
At last, say goodbye to shitty fingers at toilet time
|
an MP4 player:
ok, I don't know what it is or if it exists yet, perhaps it takes into account the fourth dimension which would be nice, though quite draining on the batteries i should think. On second thoughts, i think i'd prefer and MP5 player, just to stay one dimensional reality ahead of the game.
Money
100 pounds from everyone i've ever been nice to would be a fitting tribute to me
A 108-yr old man to abuse Gary Glitter:
Let the punishment fit the crime I say.
Everyone in England to live in Mudhuts:
Please Jim'll, will you fix it for me? Why?
... well why not?
Money:
Actually i'm going to need more. About 2000 more. Expect another recalculation before this is over.
The innocent smile on the desperate face of a little Robin Redbreast:
Wouldn't that just melt your heart? i'd gladly exchange a week's worth of wanks or 2 fucks (that's the rough exchange rate on today's market) to see it.
New Kate Bush Album:
No, not Aerial. Got that. It's fuckin' great. Now i'd like another please. And now, not in 12 years.
Money:
I've just checked my calculations. It seems I'll be needing about 8 or 9000 pounds. Do you know my number and sort code? Thanks.
Meat Vodka:
I'm sorry but you can get alcohol made out of anything these days so I'd like mine made out of New Zealand Lamb. Would go well in a cocktail in with Creme de Menthe, but then again, what wouldn't?
Pus Dispenser:
Give your oily skin and yellow-stained thumbs a rest and get your pus the unnatural way with a creamy sebum pump. I think if they're gonna go for a catchy brand-name, how about 'PUZ'? And before you ask, the answer is Eastern Europe. Listen, i've seen Eastern European teenagers do much worse things for money - this could be the moderately demeaning opportunity the ugly ones have been waiting for.
Sweetcorn Tweezers:
At last, say goodbye to shitty fingers at toilet time
|
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