cNutgroist

It's time once again to examine that shadowy master of ceremonies at the Papal Conclave, Cardinal Bessarabia with grateful thanks to that august scholar and septembrous liar, the most Friar Couscous, who assisted me in the unearthing of these severely soiled documentals:

From the 1996 edition of the Catholic Who's Who:

Bessarabia, Hexodotus Christobal Grapelli - Cardinal since 1970

Grand Master of the Jerusalem Lords of Midnight
Master of the Grand Order of the Knights of St Fancy
Arch Viscount of the Seminary League of the Holy Jesu

Born in Swabia in 1956 and Carpathia 1957 on a routine new year's eve
sleigh ride conducted by his father, Count Darkus Euthanasia on the
orders of his surgeon the acclaimed Dr Hendrik Maddd. Regarded as a
powerful and influential member of the Cathodic Gentry, his office in
the Palazzo di San Lucifex, on the corner of St Peter's and the Via dei
Bastardo is regarded as a semi-autonomous sovereign state and tax
haven....



Three communications have been received from the Cardinal in recent years:

-Cardinal Bessarabia formerly demands your spirit to be present at
sexadecimal Soul Sacrifice, Holy Wine and Cheese conclave he is holding
in the Giardano de Purgator at 6am on BlackFriars Day. Dress code:
Goblet and Hessian. No trainers.


-As his Major Under-Secretary and Keeper of the Flaminus, it is my duty
to inform you that Cardinal Bessarabia hates you and has set in train
the Sanctifex Machina and the 99 revolutions of speciality death with a
view to greasing its wheels with your bloody bollocks.


-molto grazie e spazie di tutti mi cuore, sangue, corpi e bollocri.
Cardinale Brutto conoscere tutti ti pensiere e c'e probabile vai kill
you man, kill you dead.


and tomorrow, we'll look at some of the runners and riders in the next papalchase. if i can be arsed.
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