Friday, April 22, 2005
And so, as another hemi-demi-month draws to a close and the tri-partite lato-quartio opens up enticingly before us, i am blogdumping (and that should be a word if it isnt already) a pile of useless correspondence between me, yon Friar and even yonder Rugeley on the subject of Il Papa. If you're not as obsessed with him as I am, and you're not, please come back next week where i'll be announcing details of my double sex-change and impending prosecution on a trumped up charge of trumpeting Donald Trump in Trumpton...
F: http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13321095,00.html
check out this list - surely this must be the greatest ever assembly of politicians, royals and religious leaders at a single event in living history?
N: highly bombable - is anyone taking bets on it?
R: wow.
what if it said at the bottom: Nadia from Big Brother.
N: full marks to China, the world's most populous nation, for not bothering to send anyone at all. Maybe everybody's busy?
interesting choice by Bangladesh - wonder if he's coming equipped with fishes and loaves?
Monaco can't be arsed either. You'd think they could spare a few members of Royal Family, it's not like they're up to much.
my hope is they do it by alphabetical order, placing Iran next to Ireland next to Israel and see if Bertie can stop a fight breaking out.
F: Other Attendees:
*
Marilyn Manson
*
50 Cent
*
Paul Daniels
*
Emu (still alive despite Rod Hull's demise)
*
Hulk Hogan
*
2 representatives from Deicide (it is a multi-faith event)
*
Vinnie Jones
*
Edward Eagle (formerly 'Eddie the')
N: those conspicuously not invited to attend include:
Mrs Pope and the kids, Warsaw
Dario Doge, no fixed abode but can usually be found on the Via Morphosa - the Pope's skag dealer
Mr and Mrs Runnybaum, Ye Temple of Doom, Godforsaken Avenue, Belchey - they'd swapped addresses with JPII after camping next door to him 6 years ago on their annual caravan trip in northern Belgium
Osama Bin Laden, Afghanistan - it was decided he'd only cause trouble so his invitation has been rescinded
Paris Hilton, New York - While not specifically invited, it was thought wise to publicly uninvite her for fear of her turning up anyway.
Queen Elizabeth the II, Windsor - Ma'am will watch the event at home on tv, silently, weeping for what might have been. The head of the Church of England and the head of the Catholic Church had a torrid love affair lasting 40 years which was only ended due to the personal intervention of Jesus, a mexican waiter who served them coffee and sarnies on a dirty weekend in Scarborough way back in the 19090's.
R: http://geocities.com/WorldwideChurchofSatan/
read the blurb, then look at the guy's name.
F: Ha ha! Do you think it is just as difficult to stick to the Satanic life as it is to be a good Christian? Do you have to go to confession for being good?
R: maybe they're having an Anti-Pope election as we speak.
N: there's a fair chance Cardinal Ratzinger might end up winning both
F: I thought Cardinal Gerald Ratner was the favourite
N: http://www.ratzingerfanclub.com/blog/index.html
F: Interesting - actually the word on the water-to-grapevine is that
Ratzinger faces an almighty battle with the progressive Cardinals, so it
will be interesting to see if he can attract a two-thirds majority.
There is a strong Italian progressive enclave within the conclave which
may prevail - but then you don't have to be progressive to be popular -
JPII was doctrinally conservative (Ratzinger was his 'Doctrinal
Enforcer'), although very progressive in his popular interaction.
If they haven't decided by Thursday it goes to penalties, at which time
you would have to fancy the German.
F: in the circle of morality, very holy is next to very evil, just like on the circle of style, where very fashionable is but a degree away from ridiculous.
N: and the circle of erotic compromise, where a desperate heterosexual is but an innocent walk on the pavement of bi-curious personal ads away from falling up a manhole
F: indeedily so - but now, the demi-circle of work has come half-loop to meet the arc of homeward leisure. and so, depart i to the car park, whence and thence to my car and a drive home of approximately 16 minutes.
anon to ye
F: it can't be satan's halo - when the dark angel fell from heaven he had to hand in his halo on the way down, like a cop hands in his badge when they throw him to the dogs at city hall. many people believe that st peter has satan's halo in storage, but that is not the case, because the gates of heaven were not guarded by st peter in pre-christian times, as he did not exist then. instead, the gates were guarded by noah's great great great great grandad, who was unfortunately killed in a fight with Bad King Senselessness in 279BC, at which time the halo was destroyed by vibrations from the Angel Gabriel's out-of-tune rendition of "I Did It Yahweh".
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F: http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13321095,00.html
check out this list - surely this must be the greatest ever assembly of politicians, royals and religious leaders at a single event in living history?
N: highly bombable - is anyone taking bets on it?
R: wow.
what if it said at the bottom: Nadia from Big Brother.
N: full marks to China, the world's most populous nation, for not bothering to send anyone at all. Maybe everybody's busy?
interesting choice by Bangladesh - wonder if he's coming equipped with fishes and loaves?
Monaco can't be arsed either. You'd think they could spare a few members of Royal Family, it's not like they're up to much.
my hope is they do it by alphabetical order, placing Iran next to Ireland next to Israel and see if Bertie can stop a fight breaking out.
F: Other Attendees:
*
Marilyn Manson
*
50 Cent
*
Paul Daniels
*
Emu (still alive despite Rod Hull's demise)
*
Hulk Hogan
*
2 representatives from Deicide (it is a multi-faith event)
*
Vinnie Jones
*
Edward Eagle (formerly 'Eddie the')
N: those conspicuously not invited to attend include:
Mrs Pope and the kids, Warsaw
Dario Doge, no fixed abode but can usually be found on the Via Morphosa - the Pope's skag dealer
Mr and Mrs Runnybaum, Ye Temple of Doom, Godforsaken Avenue, Belchey - they'd swapped addresses with JPII after camping next door to him 6 years ago on their annual caravan trip in northern Belgium
Osama Bin Laden, Afghanistan - it was decided he'd only cause trouble so his invitation has been rescinded
Paris Hilton, New York - While not specifically invited, it was thought wise to publicly uninvite her for fear of her turning up anyway.
Queen Elizabeth the II, Windsor - Ma'am will watch the event at home on tv, silently, weeping for what might have been. The head of the Church of England and the head of the Catholic Church had a torrid love affair lasting 40 years which was only ended due to the personal intervention of Jesus, a mexican waiter who served them coffee and sarnies on a dirty weekend in Scarborough way back in the 19090's.
R: http://geocities.com/WorldwideChurchofSatan/
read the blurb, then look at the guy's name.
F: Ha ha! Do you think it is just as difficult to stick to the Satanic life as it is to be a good Christian? Do you have to go to confession for being good?
R: maybe they're having an Anti-Pope election as we speak.
N: there's a fair chance Cardinal Ratzinger might end up winning both
F: I thought Cardinal Gerald Ratner was the favourite
N: http://www.ratzingerfanclub.com/blog/index.html
F: Interesting - actually the word on the water-to-grapevine is that
Ratzinger faces an almighty battle with the progressive Cardinals, so it
will be interesting to see if he can attract a two-thirds majority.
There is a strong Italian progressive enclave within the conclave which
may prevail - but then you don't have to be progressive to be popular -
JPII was doctrinally conservative (Ratzinger was his 'Doctrinal
Enforcer'), although very progressive in his popular interaction.
If they haven't decided by Thursday it goes to penalties, at which time
you would have to fancy the German.
F: in the circle of morality, very holy is next to very evil, just like on the circle of style, where very fashionable is but a degree away from ridiculous.
N: and the circle of erotic compromise, where a desperate heterosexual is but an innocent walk on the pavement of bi-curious personal ads away from falling up a manhole
F: indeedily so - but now, the demi-circle of work has come half-loop to meet the arc of homeward leisure. and so, depart i to the car park, whence and thence to my car and a drive home of approximately 16 minutes.
anon to ye
F: it can't be satan's halo - when the dark angel fell from heaven he had to hand in his halo on the way down, like a cop hands in his badge when they throw him to the dogs at city hall. many people believe that st peter has satan's halo in storage, but that is not the case, because the gates of heaven were not guarded by st peter in pre-christian times, as he did not exist then. instead, the gates were guarded by noah's great great great great grandad, who was unfortunately killed in a fight with Bad King Senselessness in 279BC, at which time the halo was destroyed by vibrations from the Angel Gabriel's out-of-tune rendition of "I Did It Yahweh".
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