Monday, February 21, 2005
Foxhunting with Dogs has been banned in Britain. But some people dont want to stop hunting. And others dont want to stop stopping them from hunting. For the sake of fisherman everywhere, here's a couple of simple, legal alternatives for foxloving doghaters, calm and reasonable class warriors, chinless toffs and the newspaper editors that depend upon them:
Doghunting With Foxes: Let's crazy it up a bit and see how the other half do things. Foxes, after all, are vicious little wild dogs. Get a pack of them together and teach them to hate domestic dogs, then release a lone beagle into the woods and let the little red fuckers get some payback. It's not brutal, it's nature. Honestly you city people just don't udnerstand.
Foxhunting With Foxes: There's nothing in the lawbooks that prohibits fox-on-fox violence. Train foxes to hate foxes using classic British divide-and-rule tactics. Just put a white line in the middle of the forest and start spreading rumours that north of the line is a better place to live than south of the line.
Foxhole Hunting: Again, nothing illegal in sending killer dogs hurtling through the countryside to attack a small hole in the ground. To show good faith, the hunters should issue a public warning to all foxes to stay out of the way on hunting days. Perhaps they could even offer compensation for damaged holes. This one could really get the whole community together
Dr Fox Hunting: My ultimate fantasy and one I share with anyone that's had to endure his evil on Capital Radio. We should hunt him down with rabid dogs, then sedate them and rip him to shreds with our own teeth. Then stick him back together and do it all over again. And again.
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Doghunting With Foxes: Let's crazy it up a bit and see how the other half do things. Foxes, after all, are vicious little wild dogs. Get a pack of them together and teach them to hate domestic dogs, then release a lone beagle into the woods and let the little red fuckers get some payback. It's not brutal, it's nature. Honestly you city people just don't udnerstand.
Foxhunting With Foxes: There's nothing in the lawbooks that prohibits fox-on-fox violence. Train foxes to hate foxes using classic British divide-and-rule tactics. Just put a white line in the middle of the forest and start spreading rumours that north of the line is a better place to live than south of the line.
Foxhole Hunting: Again, nothing illegal in sending killer dogs hurtling through the countryside to attack a small hole in the ground. To show good faith, the hunters should issue a public warning to all foxes to stay out of the way on hunting days. Perhaps they could even offer compensation for damaged holes. This one could really get the whole community together
Dr Fox Hunting: My ultimate fantasy and one I share with anyone that's had to endure his evil on Capital Radio. We should hunt him down with rabid dogs, then sedate them and rip him to shreds with our own teeth. Then stick him back together and do it all over again. And again.
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