Thursday, November 18, 2004
Day 3 of avoiding hearing Do They Know Its Christmas and things are going swimmingly well. As long as i don't leave the house or turn on the radio or tv, i may well get through this difficult period in my life.
As it happens, we went to a karaoke event last night in town. it was a fundraiser for a splendid cause and nobody was taking things too seriously, but that STILL doesn't excuse my girlfriend and her girlfriend (american usage, although we all have suspicions) thought it would be funny to get up in front of everyone and literally murder 'I Believe I Can Fly'. As if the song wasnt a pile of old tits already, they took it to new depths. Neither girl can sing, and neither can sing together. So both in different keys to the backing track, both holding pints and drunkely hugging eachother and literally screaming, SCREAMING into the microphone their heartfelt belief that they could indeed touch the sky. And they were pleased as punch with the reaction they got - which was shocked, stunned, jaw-dropping applause.
unfortunately, an hour or so later, the room much more crowded, they tried it again. Much drunker, much louder and according to eyewitness accounts, much much worse. I wouldnt know as i had left the room to go for a fag with the organiser 1 second before they started and walked in 3 minutes later to see the microphones being yanked from their hands by the compere. And they loved it. The girls that is. I was in a state of shock so i didnt register what the room's reaction was. But i'm drafting an apology text message to the guys who organised it anyway.
30 minutes later, lying on the edge of the bed, mrs 'i'm a bit drunk' expelled pure lager into the bin. I have never seen anything like it. Her mouth was literally like a beer tap behind a bar - unadulterated fizzy lager, Warsteiner i seem to recall, came flowing out of her mouth at a steady rate COMPLETE WITH FROTH! It was magical. It was beautiful. It was karma.
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As it happens, we went to a karaoke event last night in town. it was a fundraiser for a splendid cause and nobody was taking things too seriously, but that STILL doesn't excuse my girlfriend and her girlfriend (american usage, although we all have suspicions) thought it would be funny to get up in front of everyone and literally murder 'I Believe I Can Fly'. As if the song wasnt a pile of old tits already, they took it to new depths. Neither girl can sing, and neither can sing together. So both in different keys to the backing track, both holding pints and drunkely hugging eachother and literally screaming, SCREAMING into the microphone their heartfelt belief that they could indeed touch the sky. And they were pleased as punch with the reaction they got - which was shocked, stunned, jaw-dropping applause.
unfortunately, an hour or so later, the room much more crowded, they tried it again. Much drunker, much louder and according to eyewitness accounts, much much worse. I wouldnt know as i had left the room to go for a fag with the organiser 1 second before they started and walked in 3 minutes later to see the microphones being yanked from their hands by the compere. And they loved it. The girls that is. I was in a state of shock so i didnt register what the room's reaction was. But i'm drafting an apology text message to the guys who organised it anyway.
30 minutes later, lying on the edge of the bed, mrs 'i'm a bit drunk' expelled pure lager into the bin. I have never seen anything like it. Her mouth was literally like a beer tap behind a bar - unadulterated fizzy lager, Warsteiner i seem to recall, came flowing out of her mouth at a steady rate COMPLETE WITH FROTH! It was magical. It was beautiful. It was karma.
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