Friday, August 06, 2004
Sal seems to enjoy these. Sod the rest of you:
(Having just read an article on how to deter telemarketeers)
JJJJY01: some nice ones
faraa3: yeah, a few
JJJJY01: i've started just saying 'renting' - that's all, one word, that's enough for them to put the phone down on me
faraa3: !
faraa3: id like to just say 'yes' and then not talk again, no matter what
faraa3: i just go 'yeah, i want one - just send me the details' then put the phone down
faraa3: keep em keen
JJJJY01: or just go 'mmmmmm' in a thoughful way through the whole conversation, even when they're not talking
JJJJY01: just go ' I'm sorry, I'll have to ask my pimp, he controls all the money'
faraa3: 'look im poor as dirt right now but with a bit of luck my grandad is dying of cancer and i should be quids in in about a week - call then'
faraa3: 'listen, ive got the most fantastic cock - it keeps me entertained all day long - what do i need a set of new bay windows for when ive got that?'
JJJJY01: and its 'double-glazed' for most of the day
faraa3: 'im sorry, the last thing i bought down the phone was a hit job on my bastard uncle -you shouldve seen the trouble i got in for that. no, im not going to be buying your carpet cleaning services anytime soon. it would get me into a whole world of trouble'
faraa3: 'have you ever considered modelling?'
faraa3: 'im a fucking alcoholic'
faraa3: 'im really interested in what youve got to offer but i know me, by the time i put the phone down i'll have spent every last penny on drugs'
JJJJY01: 'sorry, I'm Welsh'
faraa3: 'here, talk to my bitch'
JJJJY01: 'I would buy some double glazing, but the Earth is about to be demolished to make way for a hyper by-pass'
faraa3: 'oh fuck the bypass - how much are they anyway?'
JJJJY01: 'oh go on, I'll take three windows, I only have cash. Can you take it down the phone line ? Here, try, I'll roll the notes up really small.'
faraa3: 'i dont really need any - you see, i live in a greenhouse'
faraa3: 'how much for just one window? well, i'm in prison. for life'
faraa3: 'i've already got double glazing - if i add yours to mine will i be able to get that quadrophonic effect?'
JJJJY01: 'new windows ?' 'no, i've just replaced my computer, i don't need it. Besides, I use a Mac.
JJJJY01: 'Houston, everything's beautiful here, tranquility base........'
faraa3: 'the only kind of cunting window i need mate is a window into my fucking dark soul - do you do ones of those?'
AND
(Having just watched Buffet Froid)
faraa3: did your girlfriend like it?
JJJJY01: yeah, bit too surreal for her i think
faraa3: she prefers a good down-to-earth rape film?
JJJJY01: yeah, she prefers hers without humour
faraa3: raw rape
faraa3: that must be a problem for you
faraa3: when you want to crack a joke
faraa3: during rape
faraa3: must be more than two years now, yes?
faraa3: since you first raped her
JJJJY01: yeah, jesus has it been that long ?
JJJJY01: you'd think she'd recovered by now
faraa3: do you still get the same thrill?
JJJJY01: same shrill
JJJJY01: from her
faraa3: does she still not know it's you who's been breaking in and raping her all this time?
faraa3: have you changed masks?
JJJJY01: i always say i've popped out to get milk
faraa3: then pop it in to get milked
faraa3: i wonder if anyone really famous has been raped by someone wearing a mask of that famous person?
faraa3: Ronald Reagan, for example?
JJJJY01: yeah, but he didnt know who he was
faraa3: you know they're doing that Alien vs Predator film?
JJJJY01: yeah
faraa3: they should do one with famous film rapists
faraa3: trying to rape eachother
faraa3: with earth as the battleground
JJJJY01: haha
faraa3: spy vs spy with cocks
faraa3: that's a list i havent seen Premiere or Empire try yet...
JJJJY01: give it time....
faraa3: top 100 screen rapes - as voted for BY YOU!!!!
faraa3: 'what's your favourite rape?'
JJJJY01: if they did a list of rapes, Star Wars and Pulp Fiction would STILL be top of the list
faraa3: 'Robert de Niro - the rapists' rapist'
faraa3: 'Quentin Tarantino - brought rape kicking and screaming into the 21ast century'
JJJJY01: Star Wars - 'George Lucas' seminal space-rape opera'
faraa3: that's an idea who's time has come - 'rape kicking'
|
(Having just read an article on how to deter telemarketeers)
JJJJY01: some nice ones
faraa3: yeah, a few
JJJJY01: i've started just saying 'renting' - that's all, one word, that's enough for them to put the phone down on me
faraa3: !
faraa3: id like to just say 'yes' and then not talk again, no matter what
faraa3: i just go 'yeah, i want one - just send me the details' then put the phone down
faraa3: keep em keen
JJJJY01: or just go 'mmmmmm' in a thoughful way through the whole conversation, even when they're not talking
JJJJY01: just go ' I'm sorry, I'll have to ask my pimp, he controls all the money'
faraa3: 'look im poor as dirt right now but with a bit of luck my grandad is dying of cancer and i should be quids in in about a week - call then'
faraa3: 'listen, ive got the most fantastic cock - it keeps me entertained all day long - what do i need a set of new bay windows for when ive got that?'
JJJJY01: and its 'double-glazed' for most of the day
faraa3: 'im sorry, the last thing i bought down the phone was a hit job on my bastard uncle -you shouldve seen the trouble i got in for that. no, im not going to be buying your carpet cleaning services anytime soon. it would get me into a whole world of trouble'
faraa3: 'have you ever considered modelling?'
faraa3: 'im a fucking alcoholic'
faraa3: 'im really interested in what youve got to offer but i know me, by the time i put the phone down i'll have spent every last penny on drugs'
JJJJY01: 'sorry, I'm Welsh'
faraa3: 'here, talk to my bitch'
JJJJY01: 'I would buy some double glazing, but the Earth is about to be demolished to make way for a hyper by-pass'
faraa3: 'oh fuck the bypass - how much are they anyway?'
JJJJY01: 'oh go on, I'll take three windows, I only have cash. Can you take it down the phone line ? Here, try, I'll roll the notes up really small.'
faraa3: 'i dont really need any - you see, i live in a greenhouse'
faraa3: 'how much for just one window? well, i'm in prison. for life'
faraa3: 'i've already got double glazing - if i add yours to mine will i be able to get that quadrophonic effect?'
JJJJY01: 'new windows ?' 'no, i've just replaced my computer, i don't need it. Besides, I use a Mac.
JJJJY01: 'Houston, everything's beautiful here, tranquility base........'
faraa3: 'the only kind of cunting window i need mate is a window into my fucking dark soul - do you do ones of those?'
AND
(Having just watched Buffet Froid)
faraa3: did your girlfriend like it?
JJJJY01: yeah, bit too surreal for her i think
faraa3: she prefers a good down-to-earth rape film?
JJJJY01: yeah, she prefers hers without humour
faraa3: raw rape
faraa3: that must be a problem for you
faraa3: when you want to crack a joke
faraa3: during rape
faraa3: must be more than two years now, yes?
faraa3: since you first raped her
JJJJY01: yeah, jesus has it been that long ?
JJJJY01: you'd think she'd recovered by now
faraa3: do you still get the same thrill?
JJJJY01: same shrill
JJJJY01: from her
faraa3: does she still not know it's you who's been breaking in and raping her all this time?
faraa3: have you changed masks?
JJJJY01: i always say i've popped out to get milk
faraa3: then pop it in to get milked
faraa3: i wonder if anyone really famous has been raped by someone wearing a mask of that famous person?
faraa3: Ronald Reagan, for example?
JJJJY01: yeah, but he didnt know who he was
faraa3: you know they're doing that Alien vs Predator film?
JJJJY01: yeah
faraa3: they should do one with famous film rapists
faraa3: trying to rape eachother
faraa3: with earth as the battleground
JJJJY01: haha
faraa3: spy vs spy with cocks
faraa3: that's a list i havent seen Premiere or Empire try yet...
JJJJY01: give it time....
faraa3: top 100 screen rapes - as voted for BY YOU!!!!
faraa3: 'what's your favourite rape?'
JJJJY01: if they did a list of rapes, Star Wars and Pulp Fiction would STILL be top of the list
faraa3: 'Robert de Niro - the rapists' rapist'
faraa3: 'Quentin Tarantino - brought rape kicking and screaming into the 21ast century'
JJJJY01: Star Wars - 'George Lucas' seminal space-rape opera'
faraa3: that's an idea who's time has come - 'rape kicking'
|
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