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Tuesday, April 20, 2004

found crusting at the bottom of my hard drive, 4 and a half years old now:

FAUX ITALIANO pasta di porcini di smoka di piscina di salmona di

v.simple, and probably utterly derivative - i don’t know because i’m cuisnically illiterate and very drunk as i write this. It’s very simple - chop a white onion very finely, and fry it slowly with a chopped clove of garlic in butter and a drop of olive olio. Then chuck in a glass of lovely white wine, ideally a semillon chardonnay which just cost me £3.50 from my local sainsburys, and bring to the boil for a little while. then reduce slowly and add a big pile of cheap chopped mushrooms and saute the bastards. Then crumble some of that orange stilton shit ointo it and mix it around a lot. Thgen cover in good pepper, and finally add a whole pot of creme fraiche. Leave it on heat 1, and do the bloody pasta. If you’re like me and only want to mix the best with the worst, then use fresh pasta, idealy tagliatelle. Then when all is cooked and done with, chop up a fat slice of smoked salmon and add it to the sauce for a inute or two, sitrring on a low heat. Then add to the by now plated pasta and win the battle to cook yourself a fucking great meal. Drink the rest of the bottle of wine while you’re eating, and then finish with a cigarette. The final touch is, of course, to write the recipe down in a similar format to me in the sure knowledge that it will never be published, for a multitude of reasons, but mainly becuase you’re never going to send it off to any bloody publishers for consideration because you’re not some arrogant mockney cunt that slaved himself silly at the river cafe for a few months.


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