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Tuesday, March 02, 2004

World - AP Latin America
Duvalier Says He Wants to Return to Haiti
AP
Tue Mar 2,12:28 PM ET

MIAMI - Exiled Haitian dictator Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier told a television reporter he wants to return to his homeland now that President Jean-Bertrand Aristide has fled. - I'm sure you're just what's needed

"This is my country," Duvalier told WFOR-CBS4 on Monday in an interview in Paris. "I'm ready to put myself at the disposal of the Haitian people." - Rather than simply ready to dispose of the Haitian people like you did the last time

But Duvalier said he doesn't plan to run for president. - Why bother? You didn't last time. You were proclaimed President for Life on your 18th Birthday

"That is not on my agenda," Duvalier said through a translator. - Nor is it on Haiti's

The deposed dictator said he requested a diplomatic passport several weeks ago and is in constant contact with people in Haiti. - Sticking pins in Aristide dolls doesn't count as 'constant contact'

"I think I'm getting close and that I will soon have the opportunity to go back to my country," he said. - Good luck, pal. I'm sure there's a few people who would love to see you walk through their neighbourhood again

In other news, Adolph Hitler the deposed leader of Nazi Germany and 115 next month, speaking from his house in Paraguay said in an interview today he's eyeing a return to German politics since the country announced elections last month. - Alright I made that bit up. Did you guess?

Hmm, political satire isnt the strongest card in my deck. Got to make a living somehow though.

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